I tell them, "Elect me as the president of the French republic. You’ll see, I’ve got all the answers in my pocket."

If I were elected, I would take the following measures: Paris, Bordeaux, Marseille and Nice would become special economic zones. I would dismantle the cities and rebuild them New York style. I would transform the Louvre, for example, into a giant and ultra-modern supermarket and replace Notre Dame with a towering skyscraper, home to IBM or Microsoft. I would sell the grounds of the surrounding parks to huge American, English and German multinationals to build on. To make this work, I would have to take all the power into my own hands and get rid of the Assemblée Nationale. Of course, all of my friends would have a place in the Sénat, and all the trade unions, media and justice systems would have to be suspended. There would be police everywhere.

Next, I would remove the social security system and the farming grants, bring back school fees and cut wages to 10%. All this would save me millions of euros a year, which I’d invest in infrastructure and the aerospace industry, in order to send a hundred Frenchmen to the moon every year. The number of policemen would be increased threefold. Every town would benefit from a brand new underground; the bridges that cross the Seine and the Loire would stand side by side, the TGV would go right to the top of Mont Blanc and all over France.

Thanks to lowered salaries and the removal of state security, French companies will be a thousand times more competitive than they are today, and their products will be exported in huge numbers all over the world. French industry will crush all others in Europe. If the Germans or the English aren’t happy and refuse to cooperate with me, France will resign from the EU and close its borders. I’ll prepare for a war against them. The French military industry will therefore develop at great speed, giving additional vitality to the economy.

You’ll see, under my presidency, France will be even more dynamic than China. Moreover, you’ll quickly pick up the meaning of “Chinese tradition”."