Wedding dress, photographer, cake: must be a divorce party

Trashing wedding dresses at a "divorce party camping weekend". Photo posted by Kris Krug on Flickr.

An unusual trend is taking off in marriage-weary countries. Why mourn your failed marriage, when you can celebrate your divorce?

While it's been growing in popularity in North America for the past few decades, the "divorce party" is now flourishing in the UK too. From swanky London cocktail bars to your local Mexican eatery, venues are enticing the recently-divorced to play their wedding video backwards and trash the white frock. Wearing T-shirts proclaiming 'Free as a bird', and tucking into cake depicting the horrible death of the ex-partner, revellers can well and truly bury their marriage in a 'wedding ring coffin'. While specialist divorce party organisers tend to target women, "gentlemen's clubs" are also getting in on the act. And the whole thing can be captured by a divorce photographer. 

A far-cry from the days in which divorce was taboo or induced pity, the parties celebrate a "new you" and announce being "back on the market". The high profile divorce parties of British glamour model Katie Price on a 12 hour bender in Ibiza and American actress Shanna Moakler, with her three-tier divorce cake depicting the bride shoving the groom to his doom, could partly explain how this new celebration has become de rigeur. The "divorce industry" is simply no longer the domain of solicitors and therapists.

Almost half of UK marriages now break up and figures indicate that divorce parties are celebrated mainly by people going through the process for the second time. Divorce parties may be in its infancy in the UK (most party organisers admit business is not brisk, yet) but the business joins the post-divorce dating agencies, divorce self-help books and divorce gift lists offered by some large department stores, in this burgeoning market.

Above, an advert for Texan divorce party organisers. Posted here.

Posted on Flickr by "wwhyte 1968" on Oct. 8, 2008.

Contributors

“My divorce was the most self-loving thing that I had done for a long time”

Alexis Flanagan, a holistic (whole-body homeopathic) health therapist from Washington DC who divorced after ten years of marriage, celebrated her legal separation in 2008.

After a long and arduous divorce process, it was such a relief to have my life back. Getting my maiden name back was particularly symbolic and it felt so good I couldn't walk away from that court house quiet! I was in court that morning at ten and went to a local pub that very evening with my friends and family who had supported me through the process. Although there were mainly girl friends, plenty of guys were there too and no-one deemed it to be inappropriate: they had seen me struggle in the legal limbo of the separation for over three years. There happened to be a group of divorce lawyers in the bar that evening, and that seemed oddly apt and they enjoyed the fun too!

My divorce was the most self-loving thing that I had done for a long time. I could re-evaluate what was important in my life. Just two years into my marriage I had realised it was not what I wanted. But I was stuck in my toxic marriage for ten years, of which nearly four was going though the legal process which is particularly complicated in the State of Maryland. I felt liberated - of course I was going to celebrate! I detached myself from the church which had kept me in an unhealthy relationship and I guess the divorce led me indirectly to the career I'm now in as a holistic health therapist, which encourages people to take their own decisions.

Whether I find the industry growing around divorce tacky? I guess some of it is opportunistic on the part of companies, and I didn't go in for any of that kind of thing. But it does help normalise divorce in our society. No-one goes into a relationship thinking it will break down. I think we have to acknowledge the reality of divorce. I wouldn't begrudge anyone celebrating their divorce and regaining control of their lives."

The icing on the cake

Photo posted on Flickr by "cdgleason", April 24, 2009.

Posted by "Yummies 4 Tummies" Aug. 15, 2008.

Posted by "samlevin" Sept. 16, 2009.

Posted by Luiz. C. Sept. 26, 2009.

Comments

the insulter with a grudge

jason walker?get your original sound brain back! by the way,silly is derived from the old german word"sellig",which means BLESSED! IF YOU ARE NOT "SILLY",THEREFORE,THEN YOU ARE CURSED!have you never thought that chinese women might not be ambitious aswell? that,to your logic,would make them"silly eastern women".lets face it pal,it's not just western women you hate then,thinking about it,it must be women all over the developed/developing world,including easterners in australia.

Another silly western woman?

You're completely right! Women really have no right to chase their own ambitions, they must only ever be satisfied with such superior males like yourself! Aw buddy, I don't think you're the sharpest tool in the shed. You're quite obviously not very literate and clearly a sexist. Oh! - is that a hint of religion I see? That explains a lot. Your delusional gender roles won't quite fit here in the 21st century. I hope you have a happy life with your little bottle of roofies, that's really the only way you'll ever get any, love.

thank you i enjoyed your

thank you i enjoyed your true answer.

re

Well we had to educate you lot a bit,it is burdensome,been ask if our hairstyles and shoes match.Love ,you been reading too many love stories that is for you girls to dream about,it is an illusion.My heart belong to nobody ,but myself.

Shameful

How can breaking up a relationship that you've invested in be a cause for celebration? (except maybe in the case of abusive relationships). I find the violence portrayed on the "divorce" cakes to be quite twisted.
I guess next we'll be seeing abortion parties or "finally-my-parents-are-dead-so-I-now-have-my-inheritance" party.

i agree

It is quite pitiful. These people do not need a divorce party. Therapeutic help would be more beneficial. The partiers look dumb enough getting a divorce but then to celebrate about it. Its quite childish.

sure thing

juts anothjer way to make money.. thats it.

Not all investments turn out

Not all investments turn out to be fruitful. You find violence on cakes twisted. WHAT ABOUT VIOLENCE ON WOMEN? Most people, especially women,who seek divorce do this because they have been victims of such, be it verbally or otherwise. Women, like men have all rights to express the liberation in any form or fashion, especially from subordinative relationships. They also have the right to do as they feel with their bodies, which in some cases, means dealing with unwanted pregnancies

Most women who seek divorces

Most women who seek divorces do so because they have been abused? Absurd!

Either your definition of "abuse" is so broad that virtually everyone is an abuser - and thus you mitigate and belittle substantial abuse - or you simply don't know what you're talking about.

Yes, most couples have verbal arguments. But this is not abuse.

And yes, of course some women are abused, and this is a tragedy which we must continue to combat.

But to suggest that most women who get a divorce do so because they are abused is just completely inconsistent with the facts. Infidelity, financial hardships, and growing emotionally distant are much more prevalent than what I would call substantial abuse (as opposed to griping or snipes which almost all couples will exchange at some point).

Divorce Ceremonies

Divorce is necessary in many cases, particularly when married to a fool who thinks marriage means enslaving and demeaning his wife. There are many marriages that are happy, because of mutual respect. Thank God for divorce, for those marriages that rot. I, too, am disturbed by the violent cakes. Violence begets violence. Having a cake symbolic of divorce does not have to involve knives, guns or blood. We "Western Women" scare the weak "Eastern Men" because they love shaming and dominating their women. They can't handle the reality that ALL people, female and male are humans,deserving respect. (By the way, I am not a divorcee.)

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